Parenting is a journey with many lessons for both children and parents. As parents, we have parenting principles that can impart wisdom and skills to our children that will be useful throughout their lives. However, in today’s world, parenting isn’t just about teaching children good habits, but also about setting goals and establishing boundaries.
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One thing I teach my children is to always try and do the best they can do. For example, when they were learning to walk, I would let my children fall and get back up and always say, “Good Job, let’s get back up again”. Some people might disagree and say that I should have kept my children from falling. But I believe children must learn to fail first and learn to keep trying. I know that my parenting style may succeed or fail, but it doesn’t matter as long as I always learn for myself and my children.
Parenting Principles I Didn’t Teach My Kids
- Always Put Others First. I teach my children the importance of kindness and empathy for others, as these are important qualities. However, I also teach them to set boundaries and always prioritize their own need in certain situations. For example, when my son Austin has a toy and another child tries to take it. I always teach him that he has the right to keep his toy and refuses unless asked politely.
- Being Perfect. I teach my children to always do their best and to never give up on anything in life, including imperfection. I teach them that making mistakes and being imperfect is part of growing up.
- Control the Actions of Others. People hurt people. It may sound cruel, but it’s something we all inevitably experience in our lives. We are human, and no one is perfect. I won’t teach my children to control the actions of others because it’s impossible. All we can do is control our reactions to others’ actions. (Read : Become a Mompreneur and Make Money from Tiktok )
- Avoiding Conflict at All Costs. I used to think that avoiding arguments and maintaining peace were essential for a harmonious relationship. However, this sometimes makes me hesitate to stand up for myself or voice my opinion. Therefore, I wouldn’t teach this because I want my children to grow up to be strong individuals and have the freedom to express their opinions. Now I understand that healthy conflict is essential for personal growth and strong relationships.
- Making Everyone Like You. Sometimes in life, people don’t like us (although this is hard for me, too). But that’s okay. The same goes for other people who don’t like my son. There was a time when my son, Austin, was very friendly and greeted a young woman, but the woman frowned when she saw him. I told my son, “Austin, it’s okay if someone frowns at you, even if you smile at them. The important thing is that you remain who you are.” We don’t need to change who we are just to be liked by others, right?
Parenting Isn’t About Perfection, It’s About Presence
Parenting is about learning from our mistakes as it is as guiding our children. Mom, in reality, our children will fall. They will get hurt, and life will knock them down. But what matters most is what we do to prepare for them.
